Saturday, 6 May 2017

Realization

Hello everyone of my thousands of readers, he he. I am back because I had an epiphany today. For a couple of months or so, I have been unable to sleep at night and wound up sleeping part of the day away. The insomnia is new to me, did not have it till menopause showed up. So, for months I have been feeling worried about myself; am I depressed? Am I useful? Will I have more and more "normal days"? I have been asking myself and my son and friends about this and they all said I am ok, I am not depressed, it must be the new order brought on by menopause. I am not taking anything for the menopause or the insomnia but, tonight, a light bulb went on! At first I felt angry because I woke at 7 pm and my dear son has been doing the grocery shopping and the cleaning, which I appreciate but feel bad when I do not contribute. Anyhow, I realized I felt tired still but, at 10:30 pm something kicked in and I said to my son:"I am awake NOW!" He laughed and told me to go with the flow, no one is judging me (he is sweet like me ;) ) At that point I began working on my sci-fi novel Kobalt  which I kept thinking I should be writing thru the daytime and so I was missing out and REALIZED that this is why I am sleeping days : to write at night!!!! I produced 3 new pages and I solved some problems I was stuck on, and felt, for the first time in a few months, that I DO have control over my life, I am not lazy, unmotivated or depressed. I am a night person and that is ideal for the writer in me. I feel well now and more alive. I also do look forward to the few, magical nights in which I will fall asleep and will have great daytime action, like walking to the park or going for coffee, scrubbing my bathroom and cooking great dinners for my family, since I love to cook (and to eat).  I will take the sleepless nights as a gift of time dedicated to my life's work.

Regarding the writing, I have been stuck on Kobalt for months and I was worried. I have to confess that for a while I have been "blocked" by the fear of being judged by the reader. I know I should only write what I love and for myself. I lost that. After being in the ups and downs world of publishing for about 20+ years, writing has become work to me, and work in an onerous way, since I worry about what publishers will think of it, and what the readers will think of it if is published. I felt obligated to write and I was missing the joy in it, so I quit writing for about one month, and feeling horrible about it. I have been scared to not be either smart enough or prepared enough to write this novel. Yes, insecurity, lack of confidence in myself. Tonight I wrote from my heart, for myself and I realized that this work is the work of the soul and it belongs to ME. If others end up loving it I will be ever so happy and grateful, but I also expect critics. It's ok if I keep writing what I love and also, nobody is perfect.

I don't think I ever shared  Kobalt  's general plot. It is the story of 5 special Beings who come to Earth to rid it of cruelty, evil and the root of it all, the Illuminati or ruling elite. These are beings chosen by the Galactic Federation out of thousands of souls competing for the job. One of them, Kaela, was born on Earth and is a Walk-In; this happened in her teens. Now she is about 30. The other four come from different parts of the galaxy and also other star systems. They have been given the cloned bodies of Human donors and had their DNA upgraded to 12 strands, giving them some special powers. Kaela included, although she is not allowed to keep all her past/concurrent lives memories as the others do. She has an earthly lifetime and karma to fulfill. These are the basics and I have many notes to draw from. I brainstorm a lot. I think of this project every day and I try to stay current with Ancient Aliens and my spiritual friends on Facebook and in 3D for fresh ideas, and also books and movies for inspiration. I try to learn something new every day that will benefit my writing. In a way, I am always at work in my mind. I feel so blessed tonight as I have put the story on a good path and I am so curious to see what's coming, for my entertainment and, some day, maybe for others to enjoy as well. :)

Tuesday, 13 December 2016

I am on the radio for the 3rd time with Joe Montaldo on his UFO Undercover program! Please join us. Here is the link: http://ufoundercover.homestead.com/

Saturday, 11 June 2016

This is an excellent video about ET species with which Earth is in contact.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R40N1IESKM0

Tuesday, 12 January 2016

I am on the radio on January 13h, Wednesday, at 8 pm EST!!!!

http://ufoundercover.homestead.com/index.html

Friday, 18 December 2015

Now available on Kindle through Amazon.com are my books:

Ziggurat10  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01962OXNC  Non-fiction, my experiences with ETs, "alien abduction"; Angels;  Annunaki; ancient Sumer;  reincarnation. Includes material from my own personal journals.

Orbital  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B019446D80 Sci-fi and fantasy novelette.

Children of the Goddess  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01962P1E2  Fantasy novel set in ancient Ireland; druids, magick, love story.

Please check them out!

Thanks :)

Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Wonder Woman

I deal with fatigue on a daily basis, and the fact that I am a night person does not help. I prefer writing at night, but add to the equation a little insomnia, and you get the picture. I tried something; one day ago I went to bed at 10:00 pm, woke up briefly and then slept the rest of the day and night. I woke spontaneously today at 6:00 am and I was feeling rested and ready to work. I indulged in a panettone (and Italian Christmas cake) breakfast, coffee and a shower and I was ready! I washed  both my food cupboards and refilled spice bottles; I chucked expired foods and vitamins, did dishes and then I washed under the kitchen sink, the place where the garbage goes, yuck. After that I uploaded some of my work to Kindle thru Amazon.com and searched for new publishers for my nearly finished novel Strega (Witch)!!!! I am VERY excited, I am finding great opportunities for my writing!
I also made dinner and some more dish washing and I feel so happy and content - I am an artist and, by definition undisciplined, but I find that when I do discipline myself I can do wonders in my life. Yes, it is well worth it to me to go to  bed at a sane time (like midnight) and wake up early and getting everything done that needs tending to. There is a feeling of accomplishment that is better than sleeping in  late and then half-assing the day. I can't be wonder woman every day, but I can be a functioning artist by the daytime, though there will always be the occasional late night musing. So, for those of you struggling with the fact that you are a creative person at night but need to get things done in the day, take heart: reconditioning is possible! Artists are thought of as undisciplined,  (and for a while I thought of this as a romantic notion that I wanted to stick to) but it is a matter of choice, really. If you choose discipline you will maximize your productivity. I have been writing all my life and I can tell you, a new schedule, when needed, works. Sending out lots of love to everyone and happy creating! xoxo